Secondhand Serenade - Distance

I’m driving down the highway
Cold and dark, dead
(It’s deceiving)
It’s deceiving
And miles and miles pass by
And I’m alone
My eyes feel like they’re bleeding
But I’m just crying

Is this what I ask for?
Is this what I ask for?

I hate myself when I’m away from you
I swear I’m sorry
Please don’t hate me too
And I don’t know if my heart will make It through
I swear I’m sorry
Please don’t hate me too

I don’t suppose you heard me
Call your name, girl
If you say louder,
Then I’ll scream louder
The cities in between us block the way
They make it harder
But I’ll scream louder

Is this what I ask for?
Is this what I ask for?

I hate myself when I’m away from you
I swear I’m sorry
Please don’t hate me too
And I don’t know if my heart will make
It through
I swear I’m sorry
Please don’t hate me too

(Don’t hate me)
Don’t fail now
Hold on to hope
Cause I’m yours
I’m coming home to you soon
(I’m coming home)
Cause the road is very worn
And It’s begging me to come back
(To You)

I hate myself when I’m away from you
I swear I’m sorry
(I’m sorry)
Please don’t hate me too
(I’m coming home)
Don’t hate me too
Please don’t hate me too

________________________________________

That Night If we ever meet again.
I have no idea what we are going to be.

May 14th, we met in Michelangelo, I wait for you almost one hour,

I thought you will not came to see me again.

At last we met again and we talk alot, catch up each other life because we had been left the storybook around one year plus.

I’m glad that you are doing good there,

You’re still that charming, adorable but still that shy.

I thought I still hate you but I didn’t and I don’t.

I thought I still love you like last time and I do but with different way.  

We thought we still love each other like first time when we fall in love like teenage dream (yes we still do) but we are lost out the voice and we know what is the best for each other.

Yes, we’re still love each other but the fact has change to different level.

In that nite I tweeted about the status:

“After two summer we had missed out, total 509 days, (1year 4months and 22days)12,216 hours,now we are going to stop this & let’s start begin?”

and I have no idea how could we spend so many days and so many times for each other. We broke up and get back more than 3 times since 2010, I couldn’t exactly remember the correct times I think was 4 or 5 times. This time we thought we will going back again but at last I give us a space. A great and comfortable space for being a real person in each other life.

I cannot take it long distance relationship anymore. I did try one in London few years ago and then I met you, it’s been enough for my situation now. I mean that are not the main reason for us but it’s still does because of it we were changed our mind. I think you can be there able for me anytime(?) but it’s hard to accept it once again. The suffered and the pain we had it’s been enough.

We didn’t speak out that night we still love each other and want to get back. Even after that night every time conversation we had did. In our deep heart we know we still care each other, our love does exist but the feelings has change and we are not going back this time. At least you’re getting mature and better and I am focusing my career right now. I know is tough for you living without your mom because she have to go back canada and you have to fight for your life at least this few years. I promise I will be there for you when you need me.

No matter what it’s really happy I met you again. :)

No matter how I’m glad that you came to see me and we are still loving each other act like a BFF,family,lover…

Maybe someday we could get back to each other again, who knows? Never say never. 

But for now, we are still best friend and using the comfortable way to continue our life.

All the best to you, my dear babe.

xo
Koren 2012.05.27 / 04:56AM

PS: I no cry when we met and until I type this article. On the opposite way I smile when I type this because I had walk out the pain long time, that night we drinks alot that’s why our face like a monkey red, actually i’m little tipsy when we took the photo~

深夜23給自己的。

這個晚上的夢，好長好長。

我好久也沒有這麼自然的發自內心深處因為文字而故事。

因為不想寫，不懂怎麼寫，不懂該寫些什麼。明明腦海有無數次的千百遍我要寫，

有無數個寧靜的夜晚說：我想寫

有無數個失眠的凌晨哭泣說：我累了但是我想寫

有多少個無數個思念的時刻吵著：再寫就來不及了

又有多少個夜多少個天，身邊發生的一物一事因為它在腦海裡的印象變成真實的，從第六感成真到發生，多麼的感概、矛盾、害怕、恐懼、吶喊、到無所謂，看透又不甘心。

如果，如果我可以改變它，如果我再有勇氣一點，如果我可以自私一點，如果我可以再勇敢那麼一點點。。。

很多事情就不會任由它去發生。

但是我不能。

眼淚不停的從眼角裡滑落，感覺很心疼，心疼所發生的一切，身邊的人，朋友，家人。

耳機重複著無數次的”Bella Lullaby”，

手指不停的敲打著鍵盤，

思緒以快速的164秒數的前進，

片段一幕幕的，就好像玻璃碎片快速的飛過穿行，時而穿心時而煎熬時而感嘆時而開心時而傷感。

座上的熱巧克力一口之後，擱了許久，再喝時已經不同溫度了。一口氣把它喝完，肚子暖暖的。

人的感情也是一樣，不在我於我，卻在於別人身上。

剛重看完QAF, 如果那些不是真實的就好了。

如果人生可以自己定義的話，那麼會不會很多人都選擇這樣去做？

因為發生的還是發生了，該做的也做了，不該做的而做了，不做的也就不做

就這樣安分守己，不吵不鬧，還是過著自己真實且簡單的生活。

心疼著自己所在乎的人不能夠以自己所想的，過著生活。

當然太多人慣用自己愛的生活模式套用在別人身上，

大家都忘了生活是屬於自己的，沒有人能夠為別人而生活

明明很在乎卻關掉那個在乎的牆壁，

渡過了那麼多個年頭，

複雜的不再複雜，簡單的更加簡單，堅定的更加堅信，自己一直以來所堅持的路與選擇都是走在自己所選擇的道路上。

雖然曾經有後悔過，除了一次非常影響深遠的教訓之外，

其餘後悔的機會也只是一些年少無知的事了。

謝謝生命做錯的決定，發生過的蠢事，如今自己更加闊達而堅強，

少了點表情，沒有堅持的必須逼自己去開心和令自己難過讓別人開心。

少了曾經被那麼多人喜歡的燦爛笑容

少了委屈自己多了淺淺的微笑，

少了崩潰的眼淚多了因為感恩當下的選擇，

不管別人如何去想，多了份沒關係。

不再在乎得與失，多餘少。

再在乎的人還是需要放手，

謝謝2011的22，我過來了。

人類的23，會是更好的開始，

雖然腦袋還有心靈活了不止23，

反正沒有人會相信鬼話連篇的鬼話，

如果吸血鬼，靈異會成真的話：是你戲看太多，走火入魔

但，如果那不是真的，有該多好。 

2004不打開那道枷鎖有該多好？

如果那些事情不會發生有多好？

不背負著一世的咒語該有多好？

當年如果聽他的永世叮嚀沒有進入這個圈子有多好？

如果4th 人類完全是個謊言有該多好？

如果當年沒有去那趟London有多好？

當年如果趁早放棄生活就會不一樣。

但是生命就是沒有那些如果，

所以時光機也不可以被發明，

發生的不能夠被改變，為發生的卻可以趁早改變故事的轉折點還有結局

給自己的一封記錄，謝謝你22，23開始了，

我會努力的活著我剩下的每一刻。

謝謝放棄了堅持那麼多年的他，8年是時候放手了，

沒有被提起的，還是老樣子塵封在心底深處，

直到有一天會被記錄下來。

莫   忘   初   衷，我還是一直把它永遠烙印在腦海的深處直到靈魂被火燒的那一刻為止。

感謝/KOREN/2009留

#Secret103: Ignore

#Now Playing : Birdy - Skinny Love

Today is monday, as usual today is the blue day for most of the people who’re working in office hours because that’s mean they have to go back for work again.

For me, I don’t hate monday at all, maybe yesterday was sunday and it’s my day off so today I feel like abit dizzy and moody.

This afternoon M asked me what happen? I answered that I miss you. Since last thursday midnight, we never talk again. I cannot take it but I know I should. You told me that you will not attend his birthday but you did. Once again you such a BIG FAKE LIAR. Everytime when my mind pop out the thought I just try to ignore that, because I trying to believe that sometime my signal will give me the wrong message too, but at the end it is fucking true.

I telling to M that I have sixth sense and I think she thought that I’m kidding. I said it’s true. She asked me guess about her future, I said I can’t talk because some of the reason. It seems like so fake and I’m lying issit? After a while I spoke:”Tonight he will call me.” She stunned then smile and look at me continued to said that: “You know what? If you speak out then the sixth sense will not happen!” 

“It definitely will be happen!” I dunno why but I confirm that my heart have give me this strongly feeling. Many people will thought “sixth sense” doesn’t exist and sound ridiculous. I believe that in the world many supernatural that we cannot explain. For me, “sixth sense” it really happen to me.

Just now 10:30PM after work I reached home and I went to shower. The song was played and suddenly it stop a while and I look forward to watch my phone it pops out your display picture and your name. It’s you. This is 68723910343 times that my sixth sense prove that it does exist. Holy Shit, who tell me that will not come true now?

I using my damp finger tip to answered your call.  I push down my voice use lower pitch answered with you that I’m shower, after you noticed and you end-off my called. I have no idea this is how many times you call me during my shower time. 

Around 11PM after I done everything I’ve text you back, I act like I’m don’t care and use the strange heart talk with you. I had switch off my feeling on that moment, it’s hurt but I have to do that. It such a hard decision for me and I hope that you can understand how suffer that I am. I know that if I call back to you, we will be very happy moment conversation but I don’t want to pretend everything it’s not happen. I can’t, especially how was your heart to me.

Me: “What happen?” 
You: “Nothing…” 
Me:  ”Ok then” 

I know everyting is in my expectation. It’s my 5th times try to ignore my feeling to you, Its fucking pain.. is not that easy to get over it I know that I have to used to it because being a human is not that easy as I think, I have to being cruel to not get hurt and hurt you. It’s not easy to fight with the darkness-emotion that I have but I will try my best to keep ignore you and switch off my feeling to you, for our best even I really enjoy and super comfortable happy when I be with you but you’re just not mature enough to handle this, For your attitude it’s not that easy to break down the curse. Once you’re not change, I will not going back again. so please go back to that slut side until you can see clearly how ugly he is. When you get hurt again please don’t blame on me that I never told you. I have told you so.

Seems like I have to re-count and restart my heart to accept the pain and keep ignore what you do. *damn!

Teaser: I suppose to post the article tonight, but Im so exhausted and I have no time to type my diary, The article is belong my 2008 secret diary never publish. Stay tune.

#Secret101: Display Picture

#Now Playing : Sam Tsui - “Jar Of Hearts”

Thank to loved me and I still remember that when we were together you used my picture as your display picture. You said that the display picture person (me) is the cutest person in the world and honestly this made me felt so sweet and I smiled because of you.

Thank you.

Except this I don’t know what should I say.

My words in my mind that I doesn’t speak out

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People: (2011 MAY :: Updated)

Dear Tris: After few months and almost half year since we had been broke up I though I will totally forget you but the truth are not. I still remind you sometime(s). I mean not everyday I will miss you but your face will suddenly pop out in my mind like random time and random date. Not often but you know its occasionally when I listen some songs that we used to be loved especially Sam Tsui’s songs. I found out I did lost your recent updated and I even not dare to whatsapp you. I did text you but I knew that your situation a little hard to reply me because you stick with P for long time. If you text me I feel like we’ll so awkward. Nevermind I will forget you in someday and so soon. Sometime I feel sad that seeing you guys being good and I’m jealous but after that I changed my mind. It’s past baby! We’re not important for each other anymore for long time, so next time when we’re meet up is going to be long long time to reach to. I know that time I will totally thought you just a friend. That’s all. See you~

Dear A: Please stop being such a playboy. You’re rich but doesn’t mean that you can play all the cute boys around… When I saw bitches comments on your wall I felt like you’re still same. NEVER change your personality and I have no idea even that magazine competition boys will crush on it. I have no comment on your life but if you really searching a real one just put your real heart into it. Did you got it? REAL HEART.
If not you will get the same ending too. 

Dear V: You’re one of my best senior in my carrier ever, my best ex-store manager and my best friend that I like to. You’re such a nice all the time, actually your lips really one of your signature so don’t hide it… Recently you’re stuck in searching a job. It’s hard to find a job that a good package suitable what you want… You had been bad bad luck in couple months already, I really wish that you could find a new permanent job in MAY. Good Luck on your future ! *HUGS*

Dear W: You’re one of my best friend forever that I seldom have to. Like many people thought that we’re brothers. Maybe our hairstyle same? maybe our face? our talking style? Our same studied course background? haha, no matter what I still respect you because you always teaching me. You’re people I will sharing with. I really appreciate that, even not all people like your personality but I will here for you because I knew you’re what kind of person. Next month you’re going to next step on your life. Another people I know that being a Chanel boy? LOL. Double C really stunning huh! Planning and see you in your birthday soon!

Dear Y: First Congratulation you’re pregnant! Today is your first day starting to work after your two weeks leaved. When you visit us I really felt surprise that I seeing you again. Suddenly I have a creazy-chessy idea: I might be your son/daughter lease father? HAHA… You’re like one of my elder sister that caring and support me. Few months ago that when you said that all guys include me want to being your bridesmaid (perhaps bridesmen?) I totally laugh out laugh and think of its such a crazy idea. I can’t wait to see your baby come outs in year end and attending your wedding day in 2012. PS: Everytime when I seeing you morning sickness I feel so sad that I can’t do anything for you. Wish that you’ll feeling better soon. Mothers character really great, I really respect all the mothers in the world, because being a mother not that we think so simple like ABC. Most important  is Must be safe and healthy in this couples years!

Dear S1: It’s been a long time I never contact you. You used to be so closed to me. I remember that last time when we’ve met in KL before CNY for a short lunch and after that we’re busy until now haven’t catch up yet. I think you got your job after graduated. Good Luck and recently saw your photos album in FB that you’re happy in life. Wish that you get a new relationship already. See you soon.

Dear S2: I have no idea issit I crush on you. I dunno why. i dunno what exactly the feeling that I into you. I keep telling myself don’t want fall in love with you , don’t want fall in love with you…
I like your smile, your face, you lips, your little naughty personality and you.. the way you are~ You’re smart and cute, I dunno issit the same feeling that you feeling to me… I hope that the feeling I crush to you just a while. The chance we’re together not much but everytime when I see you I will be happy. When I notice that long time ago we have some common I feel surprise, today I found back the magazine three years ago, I feel like the world unbelievable… In this few days when you saying something let me feel that actually you’re caring me, I felt so warm and my heart was smile. :) You said that don’t treat you so good because you’ll cry, on that moment I feel touched actually. God please don’t let me fall in love with you please. I don’t want fall in love with someone right now, I don’t want get hurt. DAMN.

Dear V2: I don’t want my every relationship are from east malaysia. I have no idea why my previously all from there and now you’re one of that. WTF, issit a fortunately or GOD playing me? You playing a little game with me, if you really into me and want to chase me please be patient and kind. I’m not that type boy touch and go. If you like me just show me, don’t just say it. I don’t care what kind of your background but if your love is real I don’t mind who you’re.

Dear S3: Please stop pretending that you’re straight! We all knew that you’re not so just accept it and admit it! We’re tired your shit personality and being rude to us and pretend that you know many things, You’re so young and please learn more before you want to fly high. The person dunno how to being a good man even know high knowledge also no use because how can handle a situation? When everyone don’t like you, would you think that people will teamwork with you and accept your option too? Who want your BMW bf? Hello please, if we’re really want to be bitch with you, You already not at here since month ago. We don’t need that stupid car and wrong bitch personality. BMW for me not consider rich ok? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS TASTE? WE DON’T LIKE OR WANT YOUR BF EITHER!  STOP TO ACTING TWO FACE AND FAKE TO US. YOU’RE GOING TO REACH MY LIMIT. DON’T SAID THAT I NEVER WARN YOU BEFORE.

Dear D: Thank to know me all well. You’re the person same religion and same as me such a vegetarians… Thank being a good leader. Even you’ve a straight personality everything you like or dislike will speak out, not like last time have much freedom but I still accept the way and like it. Happy that can working with you and being a friend with you~


Thanks GOD finally I have done! Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. I found that actually 10 people are not enough for me! LOL, I still have many people haven’t have chance to speak out to… Next time if I have a chance will be update next 10 people who’re in my life. Part 2 maybe? Stay tune. =)

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Avril Lavigne - Everybody Hurts

Don’t know, Don’t know if I can do this on my own
Why do you have to leave, me
It seems, I’m losing something deep inside of me
Hold on, onto me

Now I see
Now I see

Everybody hurts some days
Its okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts
Everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And its okay
La di da di da
Its okay

It feels like nothing really matters anymore
When you’re gone
I can’t breathe
And I know you never meant to make me feel this way
This can’t be happening

Now I see (now I see)
Now I see

Everybody hurts somedays
Its okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts
Everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And its okay
La di da di da
Its okay
La la la la la


So many questions so much on my mind
So many answers I can’t find
I wish I could turn back the time
I want to…

Everybody hurts some days (some days)
Everybody hurts some days (some days)
Everybody hurts some days (some days)
Its okay to be afraid (afraid)
Everybody hurts
Everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And its okay
La di da di da
Its okay

La la la la la
Its okay

Everybody hurts somedays
Its okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts some day (yeah we all feel pain)
Everybody feels this way but it’ll be okay
Can someone take me away to a better place
Everybody feels this way
Its okay

La di da di da
Its okay
La la la la la
Its okay.
La di da di da
Its okay.
La la la la la
Its okay.
____________________________________________________________

This is Avril’s new song “Everybody Hurts” From Her new 4th album “Goodbye Lullaby” release on this coming March 8th. Is a song I give it for you because for your situation right now.

Just now you call me up at midnight 1:53am when I was watching “The Vampire Diaries” Season 2. You are dunk, once again.

You told me how upset you’re and that dick head P how to hurts you. He is midunderstood you. I don’t know why I always being a guy who’re always solve people problem. You don’t have any idea how hurts I heard your things again, I dunno why now i’m okay with it. Maybe I’m numb or just I’m already healing so well.  I don’t feel like super damn shit like last time I did. Maybe after this two weeks I live what I live, what I heard , what W inspired me in our long conversation . I feel that we’re really done with it and cannot change anything.

This time as usual I just keep going to console you : “Everything will be ok.”

You said that you are awake enough but I know you don’t. Your voice still clear but your mind already mess. You don’t realize that you had repeating told me 4 times same story about how he mad on you with no reason just now in club, blame on you because alcohol, 3 times repeating said that you sex with him again this evening. He used you, he totally a dick head. I knew that since first time I saw his face. I wish that I could fly over KK to punch his face right now.  

You’re being emo and asked me how to solve it. I just gave my opinion you should know what you really do. You should figure out yourself no matter how sad you’re. I told you so you will be hurt and now the situation is true. My sixth sense was right once again. You drived N’s car back home, you were blur until left the car key inside the car but the car automatic locked it. You cannot open the car door again. What the screwd day for you. You are totally exhausted. I keep telling you the solution and how to fix it tomorrow. Both of you still very young. Many road still need to go for it and learn. This is just for a small lesson for you.

No matter what and how I just wish you be okay as everytime that I tell you. No matter how hurts you’re I already thru this before. So everybody is hurts. Now i’m okay with it, I don’t care as a friend or whatever who’re caring you I just want you be okay. This coming march I will fly there (KK) to solve everything. Make sure that you are okay. All of my friends told me that don’t go because sure will have something unexpected happen but I still decided to do it. I know I can control the situation include my mind , our connections between us and make it better but not worst, because i’m not the drama maker. 

When you goes to off the call I know that you cried , I know your feeling, you cannot let go with it. You still like him but this is your choice you should know how to pay it. Now all you need to do just take a good sleep and don’t think anything, everything should be okay and will slove it tomorrow.

Wish you be okay.

25 Feb 2011
Koren

K & K's

  • K: Hi
  • Me: Hey
  • K: Happy CNY small boy
  • Me: Haha. Happy CNY.
  • Where's my angpao?
  • K: Im not married
  • u go ask frm ken better
  • lol
  • Me: lol. ken also not married yet
  • K: ahhaa
  • u ask him 1st la
  • if he give I give
  • Me: LOL
  • WTF. means you guys married together? lol
  • K: ermm
  • Me: lol. Are you dreaming?
  • K: marry wit him lolz
  • omg
  • i miss him so much
  • i just come back frm hometown
  • Me: I know that you miss him everyday...no need you tell me. nice anot?
  • K: sucks. Every year go back wihtout bf very sien
  • Me: why ?
  • K: every year no lover during cny
  • Me: still ok what
  • K: not like u
  • Me: many ppl same single not only you.
  • K: attached
  • Me: not lo. I'm single
  • K: lie
  • last time say u got lover
  • now u say dun have
  • wat la u
  • Me: broke up already
  • K: so fast
  • but u all 2 years already wohhh
  • Me: 2 years?? Who said?
  • K: u said wan.. or 2 months?
  • Me: OMG! Did I said ?? wrong ok? 2 years if broke that sure hurt and feel like wanna die
  • K: u tell me u two long time relationship
  • Me: It's long term and long distance not long time. lolz
  • K: 2 years can die meh ?? people like D 4 years together also break up la... he no feel
  • Me: yaa,cause they are immortality already... became king.
  • get back together , break up , get back together , break up
  • Plus, they play lovegame. 3 in a Team. "1,2,3 Not only you and me" Make me felt BOO.
  • K: lol. y break?
  • Me: Just normal for them. Celebrities life kinda mess, first time when I knew that , I can't imagine how clever the image they are pretend. Actually I like that actor acting in TV-drama performance but not in a real life. One in KL another in singapore? Same old story almost everytime I heard. Just repeat on different character and friends. It was based on same story line. People who are 26++ in this world already thru alot. 3P almost 3 years is just one of the small case for them I think.
  • For my case. Deja Vu. because I cannot accept his mistake, just small problem but we're still cannot cross that. so I just decided broke up.
  • K: His mistake??? sleep with others ah?
  • Me: nope, almost.
  • K: wah lao eh. like that also can. almost sleep with others
  • Me: If not? this circle is like that
  • K: u also ma, part of this circle
  • Me: I'm not.
  • I'm just the human born in the world and the guy who're care about people I likes or loves.
  • I'm not in P world neither the "circle".
  • I'm not play the games , dramas, tricks like others do.
  • If I loved just because the human not the gender. They labeled me gay, Bi or act staright.
  • Whatever , I'm not care. I'm just in relationship with the people I love, That's all. Not about dick or pussy.
  • K: hahahaa
  • Me: So I'm not belong for / to "P" Circle. I hate to explaine to people I don't care. They just like to ask me are you Top or Bottom? Fuck the asker. Asians like to label themselve 1 or 0. If I love someone I will not care about the role. In my previously relationship we are just the way we are. Not because the role of that. Just because so many sister, sissy , bear barbie in asians especially malaysia. That such a disaster. It's so ridiculous, they always love each other just of the role. I'm not judges them but i just so- not one of part of them.
  • K: u mean u like ken ah. so guai zhai ?
  • Me: lol. I am. Can I kill you?
  • Things go wrong, sometimes we fall. You're not to blame we've all made mistakes and it is okay.
  • I'm clarify N times I'm not the bitch, I can be very mean but I'm not be that. Yes, I love music so much and include electro music, dance, club, alcohol, party and make new friends... I'm outgoing but that's not call bitchiness. I mean everyone sure have their own dark side, emotional effect and play time but that's not in categories bicthy. They are like to misunderstanding and mistaken on me I'm a playboy type, If I really was, you can heard my name in their gossip mouth or thier own "circle". but nope. Sometime they mention my name just because jealousy I'm too kind. I don't really care actually. Everyone had their likers and haters. I just do what I like and being who I am. You should know that when things go to Koren way much too simple but not easy too.
  • K: hmm...
  • Me: You know what they say.. once a bitch ..always a bitch.. Everytime when I see bitch pretend to be good and then go back play a tricks I just keep silence and ignore them. Life isn't just about drama and acting. They are too pity, nobody care them so they are just play the game. They don't realize when they're playing with someone’s feelings and someone will get hurt. The people they hurts always the people they most cared. At the same time they are hurting themselves too..
  • K: Yea, you're true
  • (Skip)
  • Me: anyway just enjoy your dream and Happy CNY. Gong Hei Fatt Choi.
  • K: bye , good nite
  • Me: good night. bye
  • 2011.02.07

Jesse Mccartney - Told You So

Lookin’ at you now I can tell
That you and your new relationship ain’t goin’ well
There’s no reason your name should come up on my cell
Unless you’re unhappy but that shouldn’t be the case

‘Cause you said said he was the one
Baby yes you said said you were in love
‘Cause when you left me you said that you wouldn’t be
Comin’ back remember that but I never agreed

I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don’t do it like me or else you wouldn’t be
Runnin’ back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I’m right
Everytime you’re up be callin’ for me late at night
But now that you ain’t got me tell me where you gon’ be
‘Cause I can’t take you back no my heart won’t let me

Girl you know he can’t touch like I do
I don’t see you trippin’ or flippin’ over his moves
Don’t take a genius to see he ain’t that dude
But you let him back you don’t know what you was on
When you said said he was the one
Baby yes you said said you were in love
‘Cause when you left me you said that you wouldn’t be
Comin’ back remember that but I never agreed

I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don’t do it like me or else you wouldn’t be
Runnin’ back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I’m right
Everytime you’re up be callin’ for me late at night
But now that you ain’t got me tell me where you gon’ be
‘Cause I can’t take you back no my heart won’t let me

You fall on hard times it seems
But you ain’t gettin’ no sympathy
No baby not from me
‘Cause I told you you should never leave
See you chose this road so you gotta go it alone
Remember I told you so

I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don’t do it like me or else you wouldn’t be
Runnin’ back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I’m right
Everytime you’re up be callin’ for me late at night
But now that you ain’t got me tell me where you gon’ be
‘Cause I can’t take you back no my heart won’t let me 

——————————————————————————

24th I was surprise received your text.

When 26th midnight your call woke me up. 

I thought I saw a wrong name display on my phone, I still in a sleep-blur mood after pick up the phone and confirm it’s you. After a month finally you call. Your voice still familiar in my mind and ears.

Honestly I hate you told me story about him. All the details how you guys stick together and fucked up. It’s suck, heart of scars hurt once again. You asked me about the solutions, I give you my best advises. I knew he is dick head but I can’t say anythings about his negative side, I know you in love with him. You worried like a child, I just make sure that to let you feel comfortable and keep calm. 

Since last year I decided to cancel my flight to KK, I just want you be happy no matter what situation we are. Actually I already get the ending about you and him in my mind, based on I cannot leak anythings what sixth sense try to give sign to me. For my way I just can keep silence,It’s hard. I wish I could tell you the story but the true is I couldn’t if not my supernatural-foresee will disappear. Maybe this sound like ridiculous but it’s true. 

No matter how, I just wish you be happy and happiness with him. 
No matter what situation you thru, remember I had told you so.

Ko
31012011