#Secret103: Ignore
#Now Playing : Birdy - Skinny Love
Today is monday, as usual today is the blue day for most of the people who’re working in office hours because that’s mean they have to go back for work again.
For me, I don’t hate monday at all, maybe yesterday was sunday and it’s my day off so today I feel like abit dizzy and moody.
This afternoon M asked me what happen? I answered that I miss you. Since last thursday midnight, we never talk again. I cannot take it but I know I should. You told me that you will not attend his birthday but you did. Once again you such a BIG FAKE LIAR. Everytime when my mind pop out the thought I just try to ignore that, because I trying to believe that sometime my signal will give me the wrong message too, but at the end it is fucking true.
I telling to M that I have sixth sense and I think she thought that I’m kidding. I said it’s true. She asked me guess about her future, I said I can’t talk because some of the reason. It seems like so fake and I’m lying issit? After a while I spoke:”Tonight he will call me.” She stunned then smile and look at me continued to said that: “You know what? If you speak out then the sixth sense will not happen!”
“It definitely will be happen!” I dunno why but I confirm that my heart have give me this strongly feeling. Many people will thought “sixth sense” doesn’t exist and sound ridiculous. I believe that in the world many supernatural that we cannot explain. For me, “sixth sense” it really happen to me.
Just now 10:30PM after work I reached home and I went to shower. The song was played and suddenly it stop a while and I look forward to watch my phone it pops out your display picture and your name. It’s you. This is 68723910343 times that my sixth sense prove that it does exist. Holy Shit, who tell me that will not come true now?
I using my damp finger tip to answered your call. I push down my voice use lower pitch answered with you that I’m shower, after you noticed and you end-off my called. I have no idea this is how many times you call me during my shower time.
Around 11PM after I done everything I’ve text you back, I act like I’m don’t care and use the strange heart talk with you. I had switch off my feeling on that moment, it’s hurt but I have to do that. It such a hard decision for me and I hope that you can understand how suffer that I am. I know that if I call back to you, we will be very happy moment conversation but I don’t want to pretend everything it’s not happen. I can’t, especially how was your heart to me.
Me: “What happen?”
You: “Nothing…”
Me: ”Ok then”
I know everyting is in my expectation. It’s my 5th times try to ignore my feeling to you, Its fucking pain.. is not that easy to get over it I know that I have to used to it because being a human is not that easy as I think, I have to being cruel to not get hurt and hurt you. It’s not easy to fight with the darkness-emotion that I have but I will try my best to keep ignore you and switch off my feeling to you, for our best even I really enjoy and super comfortable happy when I be with you but you’re just not mature enough to handle this, For your attitude it’s not that easy to break down the curse. Once you’re not change, I will not going back again. so please go back to that slut side until you can see clearly how ugly he is. When you get hurt again please don’t blame on me that I never told you. I have told you so.
Seems like I have to re-count and restart my heart to accept the pain and keep ignore what you do. *damn!
